First Mother's Day

So, today was Mother's Day. I have to say that I was sadder about it prior to it being here, than I felt today. Today I got to sleep in. I woke to find I'd missed a call from Michael and I had 3 texts from him. In the days previous, I'd gotten 2 cards from friends just thinking of me and a few texts today and yesterday, too. I have to say, though, that I grilled Tim about whether he'd texted, emailed, or called Mike to make sure he called or texted me, and he swears he didn't. This, above all things, made me the happiest. I don't care if he just found out TODAY that it's Mother's Day; he took the time to call me. I'm tearing up just thinking about it again. It means so much to me. 

I spent some time outside today with Tim painting one side and back of the house, and then Tim and Dad did some mowing (you hear those angels singing?? I do!) in our hideous backyard. I was literally afraid walking through the backyard to do the painting prior to it being mowed. I mean, you just don't know where those slithering serpents are hiding, and I'm NOT a fan. When I was up on the ladder painting, I kept hearing "Welcome to the Jungle." It did me good, though, to be doing something outside, something (sorta) creative. 

I did spend some time just reflecting on being a mom. On years past. On when my kids were little and Michael would make goofy faces and dance or make silly sounds just to make Amanda laugh. I was thinking about how Amanda used to have that giant yellow fish rocker thing, and Mike would climb on the top of it while Amanda sat in the seat, and she would just laugh and laugh while they rocked. 

I thought about the bad times, too. I'm not in denial about the bad times. There were many, many ups and downs with her bipolar and both of our stubborn streaks (and mouths), but I also know she knew we would always have her back. She knew she was loved, and it's the love that I concentrate on. I thought about the days when she was little and I would dance with her around the living room to Amy Grant's song, "Lucky One." She would throw her head back and just cackle.  I thought about when we lived on base at Seymour Johnson and I could walk Michael to kindergarten. I would have Amanda in the umbrella stroller and I loved being able to walk him there and be there waiting when he got out to walk him home. While we are in the midst of our kids' childhoods, especially in the more challenging times, it seems like they are dragging on forever, but they go by so quickly and you only have this little window to speak into their lives, to spend time with them, be involved, and show them how much you love them.  I wish I could replay every second. 

Earlier I had tried to send Mike some videos that I'd gotten from Amanda's phone, but they were too big, so I had to post them to Facebook and tag him in them. She was so silly. She was random and funny. She had a mouth on her, but I did too at her age (and still can if I don't watch it). I loved hearing her sing, but even more I loved hearing her laugh and seeing how alive she was. She was just this bundle of energy (when she was up and about -- otherwise, her favorite thing to do was sleep haha). She had this quick sense of humor. 

Anyway, I'm very thankful that I didn't spend the day in the dumps. I'm so thankful that Michael took the time to call me and for the sweet messages he sent me about being the best Momma a guy could ask for. I'm thankful I got to be outside working with my hands. I'm thankful Tim stayed home from church with me since I had to be home so Dad could go to church. I'm thankful it was a better day than I anticipated it being.