Sunday, February 9, 2014

Non-newsworthy update and a word from God!


I haven't written in several days. Busy with work and Mom and Dad. Tim and I also had our 15th anniversary on the 6th. We had to work...certainly wasn't the Alaskan cruise we'd talked of taking...we have both been sick. Tim went to the doctor and is on antibiotics, etc. We did manage to go out to dinner that night at Naifeh's (Steakhouse) for bacon-wrapped filets. It was really nice. We had never been there. Afterwards, we headed across the street to the casino to kill some time as we were going to go to a Southeastern basketball game and it didn't start for about an hour and a half. We only took our $40 to play with and played various machines before I spotted a Star Wars slot machine. Tim got excited about that one so sat down to play. He didn't know what he was doing at all but still managed to win $289.50 on the first go. He is the luckiest person I know! After the casino we headed over to the game. It was a lot of fun and we realized that we tend to go to basketball games fairly often on our anniversaries. I guess it's a good thing we both enjoy them :)  So, even though we didn't feel well that day, it still ended up to be an enjoyable evening.

The following is a portion of an email between myself and the detective involved in Amanda's case:
I asked a doctor friend of mine (one not involved in the case) to read the lab results from the hospital records. He advised there is no way to tell if Amanda had ingested antifreeze, windshield washer fluid, or any other poisonous substance without testing for that specifically. He did say that the lab results are consistent with someone that may have ingested such substances. He then told me there are other things that could cause the same lab results so he is not that she ingested something. He did say the lab results were interesting and he would like to know what the toxicology report from the ME Office says. Basically what I got from him was that he was suspicious about the lab results as well, he just didn't have enough to say he suspected foul play. I am putting a call into the ME Office again today to confirm they are testing for everything I requested and to see if they can give me an ETA on the toxicology report.
I asked him about the body temp as well. He advised your research is correct about the amount of body heat lost per hour. Obviously the surrounding air temp, amount of blankets, clothing, and stuff like that also play a role but he said that's a good approximate amount. There are two issues I had with the estimation of the time of death being 8.4 hours earlier. 1. She did not have any rigor mortis(stiffing of the joints), which begins shortly after death. There also was not any livor mortis(blood pooling/settling), which is usually visible a few hours after the heart has stopped pumping. However, if they took the temp and they said it was 86 then that's something I can't argue with and I can't explain. He seemed to be a bit stumped on this as well. He did not have much info to tell me about the lack of rigor and livor mortis as he has not had much experience with people that long after their death. I will try to get some answers on that from the ME Office when I call them since they should be more knowledgeable in that area.

 The thing about the time of death possibly being approximately 8.4 hours before the temperature was taken is that that would have been somewhere around 1 a.m.(ish). If she was seen on the video camera at Walmart that evening and had driven to and from Dallas and had been drinking and doing drugs once they got home (which would have been late), it's like she had to take whatever drugs, with or without any additives, almost the minute she got in the door for it to have stopped her heart around 1 in the morning. And that kid Ryan said he'd given her 2 "bumps" of heroin so when did that occur? Also, the whole time she was in the hospital, we were holding her hands and never did we feel any stiffness in her hands/fingers, arms, etc., i.e. the rigor mortis. I don't know, I'm clearly not an expert of any sort, I just don't understand these things and pray that God will allow the truth to be brought to light to help us understand.

This weekend was DNOW (Discipleship Now) for Bryan County. Tim is a part of the team that organizes it. Youth groups from churches from all over Bryan County get together as one body to fellowship, worship, get into the word, stay at host homes, and do service projects all over the county. We went last year and I think only had 7 kids from our youth go. This year we had 12 kids. I honestly did not want to go, so wrapped up in my hurts and my grief, on top of not feeling well. I was praying for snow. I was mad that it snowed all around Durant but not in Durant (save for some very minor flurries). I just wanted to stay home and sleep and feel better. God, however, knew I needed Him more than I needed to sleep or stay home feeling sorry for myself. I can honestly say that I'm glad I went. I got to hear a wonderful speaker 3 times and worship music that was powerful. I got to love on hurting teens and pour into them. I got to speak truth to kids who needed to hear it. True, the weather did cancel most of the mission projects as they were all outdoor projects, but I was reminded of something huge. It was a word that I felt God had just for me and was why I was there:  My identity, my foundation, is Jesus and my relationship with Him. My identity is not based on being my kids' mom (or anything else!), so Amanda's death changed my circumstances, but it did not change who or whose I am.  WOW!  It's not like that is news to me, but sometimes I need to be reminded! 

So, I'm really glad God knows what I need and give me what I NEED versus just catering to my wants. What a good Daddy I have! 

2 comments:

  1. So many responses and thoughts... I'm glad you two were able to have some "us" time. And, "Wow", to the big win for Tim. The questions you have about the circumstances of it all must be very frustrating for you. I wonder why we have the need to know? I have confronted the same situation and the questions can drive you crazy. I pray that your detective gets you answers. And the big one. Yes, He always knows what we need. Thankfully, He made you listen. Love you, Kilroy!

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  2. Still praying for you. I can relate to having many questions and not many answers. To this day, we still do not have many answers. But I trust that I have what the Lord wants me to know. He knows I still come knocking at His door asking HIm for answers in hopes that something new may come. I hope your detective can uncover what is needed. Bless you, Shelly. And yes, I too relate to how my circumstances have changed, but I need to keep going back to who I am in Him, the Truest thing about me. Thanks for reminding me too.

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