Tiny annoyance...

Okay, so last week I finally took a step into higher technology from my old cell phone to a smartphone. And I have to admit, I was terrified of it, but am having fun with it. First, though, we had two weeks to test it out and make sure (A) I had signal out here in the sticks and could do everything I needed it to do, and (B) that I liked it. The answer was "Yes" on both counts. 

Today I went into AT&T to have them port my old phone number onto this phone. I guess I hadn't thought the whole thing through about getting a new phone that in doing that, whether I got a new number or the same number, that I might lose my old voicemails, specifically my last call from Amanda. I was heartbroken but tried not to show it there. I cried the whole way back to work. It is the little things but it was a big deal to me. Her voice. My baby's voice calling to tell me she loved me. Someone suggested I could contact Virgin Mobile and ask them if they could make it into an MP3 and let me download it. Tim is trying that now, on the phone with them.

But here's my annoyance, and I guess I should just keep the above things to myself...I get posts like, "Well she's with God now and you'll hear her voice every day." or "just feel her arms around you." I know people mean well, I do, but it makes me cringe when I get statements like that. I know where she's at and am eternally grateful for it, but this was a tiny piece of my daughter that I cherished still having the ability to hear her call me and tell me she loved me and hearing it in her voice. When someone you love passes away, you are bombarded with well-meaning cliches and it is so hard (at times) to just smile and be gracious. What I would prefer to hear, what anyone grieving would prefer to hear is, "I understand" and/or "I'm so sorry."

So Tim just got off the phone with Virgin Mobile. No dice. Once AT&T requested the number be ported over, Virgin Mobile automatically eradicates all of the data, including voicemails. I love him so much for trying. At least I still have the texts on the old phone between she and I and videos of her singing and being silly.