6/11/14 will be six months

Six months since I got one of your sweet hugs
Heard you sing
Held your hand
Said we love each other
Argued about stuff that was important then but pointless now.

Six months since I asked you not to go there
Told you they weren't your friends
Said you weren't strong enough...
Please stay away
Heard you say, "I'll be fine, Momma, I promise."

Six months since I got that call
Since my world stopped
Since I screamed your name
Begging for it not to be true
But seeing the proof in front of me.

Six months that you've been with Jesus
That you ARE fine and you promise
Of no bipolar or struggles
Of wholeness, unconditional love, beauty and peace
Of our broken hearts that miss you but know you are better.

Six months closer to holding you again
Trying to find purpose and help others
Trying to make you proud of me
Trying to heal and point others to God
Amidst my aching heart to just be your mom.



I miss you every single day Babydoll. Not just a handful of things, everything. The good and bad, because no matter what, we would be in your corner forever. I would have gone to the ends of the earth to help you. I wish I would have had that chance. I love you to infinity and beyond.

Love, Momma