Just a dream

I dreamed about Amanda again last night. Just thinking about the dream has me crying again. I was walking down a street at night with a group of people and we felt this whooshing sensation all around us, rushing between us and over us, like something was playing with us all, trying to get our attention. At first we are startled and kind of spin around looking to see what caused it. We knew it wasn't just wind. There was only a slight breeze. I look up and catch a glimpse of this translucent shimmering thing and the more I looked at it, the more I see more of them and I realize we are in the presence of angels. I drop to my knees but they tell me to get up, that we aren't to worship them but God alone. I reach out my hand to see if I can touch one, and a jolt of what felt like electricity is felt in the pad of my middle fingertip. I remember whomever I was with were all crowding around them asking questions about them, their jobs, and what Heaven was like. When I was finally able to get close enough to ask a question, I was sobbing and just said I didn't have a question, I just wanted the angel to please tell Amanda I love her and miss her so much. The angel said I could tell her. She told me to turn around, and as I did, the surroundings changed, and it was no longer dark out but day and it looked like it was a park-like setting. The angel pointed Amanda out to me as she was at the far end of the park with a little boy. I asked what she was doing, and the angel said she comforts the little children. I said that didn't really surprise me as she always loved children and had such a compassionate heart. Without a word spoken, it was like the angel communicated with Amanda to come, that I was there to see her, but it must be quick. Like a flash, she is closer and running towards me and I towards her with our arms outstretched and tears flowing. I wrapped her in the biggest hug and we told each other how much we love and miss each other. I was able to kiss her cheek and I told her over and over how much I love her. And just like that I knew it was time to go and I was so sad. I pleaded to stay but it wasn't my time yet. And that's how I woke up this morning. I was so incredibly sad to not get to stay with my baby girl. Of course I was thrilled at having seen and held her again. This ache in my heart is a constant reminder of what I had in my life and what I'm anxious to have once again.

I do miss you so much, Amanda. Every single day without you here is torturous to my mommy heart. I ache for you. I love you always and forever.