Emotional

I've been a bit emotional the last few days.  I can't totally put my finger on it.  It's been cumulative of several small things....the seasons changing, I've hurt my left foot and right knee attempting to jog and so I'm out of doing that for a while (I think I actually have "duck feet" so that may be why - I had to wear braces on my feet/legs as a child and maybe they didn't work??...we got a new dog (Jax) and it made me sad that as big of a lover of animals Amanda was, she wasn't here to meet him/love on him...my book is I guess selling okay...I want it to do well as I want it to help others, but at the same time it's hard to think about it as the only reason there IS a book is because our baby girl is in Heaven....then last night I heard back after several months from a lady I'd asked about making a T-shirt quilt for me from Amanda's T-shirts.  I took those out of Tim's dresser where they've been for months.  I've wanted to get this done and yet, as silly as it may seem to some, the thought of those shirts being cut up for any reason upsets me.  One more tangible thing that was Amanda's and I'm letting them go, even if it's to turn them into something wonderful in her memory.  I never would have worn them, but still it was hard to part with them.  I did take pictures of all of them last night and met with her today.  For the back, I need to look for a queen-size sheet with owls on it, sort of whimsical, if I can find one Tim and I agree on.

Aaron Bucy contacted me tonight...my book is ready in paperback for sale.  I will receive two free ones based on our contract and we ordered 18 more.  One I know I'll give to Michael, Linda, and Ms. Trudy.  Several others want to buy one.  Anyway, it's exciting and saddening at the same time.  Aaron is going to contact a news station for them to interview me.

I guess that's it...shed some tears today.  I also cried when I had to throw away one of the candles at the Wesley that were ones we'd bought for Amanda for her apartment....made me sad...another thing gone.