Where do I even begin? SO. MUCH. HAS. CHANGED.
So...Dad came home from his 6-week trip and was an absolutely, total and complete MESS. He was crying all the time. He was a nervous wreck. It broke our hearts to see him like that. But there was a kicker...when he was gone, he'd reconnected with Aunt JoeAnn (now Jody). He said he couldn't explain it, but over the course of his visit with her, he fell in love. We were in shock. He left grieving one wife and comes home in love with someone else....we thought it would fade...that it would just be a temporary thing that once he got back into the groove of his life here, it would go away....but it didn't. He'd asked for my blessing to pursue something with her and I of course gave it. I only want him happy, but at the time when he asked, he said it would be probably a two-year courtship as she's raising her great grands and that's how long it would take for them to be moved out....well, that's what we thought was going to happen. Next thing we know, he's making plans, getting rid of stuff, putting the house in my name and HE MOVED TO WASHINGTON 10/25/17!!! We were devastated!! To be honest, we're still wrestling with it. We want what's best for him, we're just not positive this is it. We know he was lonely and that we could never fill that hole of a spouse, but we were not prepared to be without him ourselves. Tim was brokenhearted, angry, and just generally upset. For him, Dad was the dad figure he's been craving and missing out on, someone stable whom he could love and be loved by in return, and they did love one another!! Tim loved spending time with Dad and for Dad, Tim really was a son.
We rented a big dumpster and for a few weeks went through the process before dad left of getting rid of stuff, just crap that we had around the yard, garages, etc. That got rid of a lot of stuff, but not enough! Still, it's that much less that we will have to deal with later.
I had left my job at the Casino in the gift shop and took a job at the Gaming Commission with Jody Nelson. BIG MISTAKE!!!!! Not only did I HATE the job, she and I butted heads. I cried all the time going to work. I felt convicted every single day for working there in support of something I don't believe in. It all came to a head and I just left October 5. I had gone to work that day and came home about 2 hours later. I was terrified. I'd never just quit a job but immediately I felt so much peace in my spirit, outside of the fact that I knew I had likely ruined my friendship with Jody. I still felt I'd made the right decision. Fast forward to today and we still aren't friends. I've apologized multiple times for the way I quit (not that I quit). She says she forgives me but can't trust me anymore. Anyways, I can't do anything about her; I can only do something about me.
Before Daddy moved, for his 80th birthday, I'd gotten us tickets to see a Texas Rangers game. Dad and Tim came to pick me up from work and we drove down. We had great seats and it was a lot of fun! We were trying to create memories/pictures for us all. Never know if I'll ever be able to do something like that again 😧
I cried for days and days after Daddy moved. It was initially quite the roller coaster for Dad. Jody was all over the place as far as how she was treating Dad. He felt like he was walking on eggshells all of the time which ticked me off. He is also completely strapped for money. We are enjoying our couple time but at the same time still wish Dad was here. We've told Dad we are staying for two years to give he and Jody a chance to see if they are going to move back here. If so, we won't sell the house as we don't want Dad to not have somewhere to live, whether they are together or not. If he comes back alone, we will stay. If he comes back with Jody, we will probably move back home. If he decides to stay in WA, we are going to try to move back home. I really don't like ambiguity. I like at least having the semblance of a plan and this up in the air business has me all upset. Things do seem like they're settling down on the home front for Dad and Jody, though. He even told me Josh (Jody's great grandson) got baptized a few weeks back!!! PRAISE! That's huge in and of itself, but beyond that, Josh had initially been nervous about Dad moving there as he knew Dad was an ordained minister and Josh didn't go to church. This was great news!!
Anyway, so now we are in the process of trying to get rid of stuff that Dad left...things we don't want and if we can get some money for it, all the better. If it's Dad's stuff that sells, I'm sending him at least half the money. It's my time researching the stuff, listing it on E-Bay, buying shipping supplies and shipping the stuff. I've sold a bit on E-Bay but we have SO MUCH STUFF left! We may enlist the help of an auctioneer if we decide we are moving to get rid of some of the bigger things like the tractor, etc. We are also trying to pay off my hospital bill from when I went to the ER in October right before Dad moved for some bradycardia. That's a whole other subject! Choctaw refused to pay for it even though I appealed their decision 3x and had letters of support written by my cardiologist and my internal medicine doc. Supposedly Councilman James Dry is having a big wig re-look at my case and she has the power to overturn it. We'll see but I'm not holding my breath.
We haven't been able to see Mike since May for his graduation and that has me very bummed. We feel stuck. We are trying to save money in case we can move home, but if we can't move home, I want to go see him. Catch 22 because everything is up in the air still.
On 2/6/18 Tim and I celebrated our 19th anniversary. He sent me roses with lilies. On the 10th, we went and saw a dinner theater, something we really enjoy doing. This was called The Mein Shaft or something like that. It was a lot of fun.
Backing up, I accepted a position at Choctaw Nation Durant Regional Medical Clinic as a registration clerk. At first it was daunting...I felt overwhelmed, but I LOVE IT. I started there in early November and just passed my 3-month probation period. We have a lot of laughs.
So...that's about my life in a nut shell now. I work, come home and maybe work out, fix supper, do chores, take a shower and go to bed to do it all over again. On the weekends, we work around the house/yard/garage, try to sort through more things to try and list to sell on E-Bay, go to church and start the week over again. It seems the seasons of life go faster and faster the older I get. Anywho...that's all.
My roller coaster experience of losing our 19-year-old daughter and walking through all that entails.
